WONDERING

It is difficult to understand life sometimes. It is just wierd. You don't get it. What's happening or why the hell is it happening or the way it does. It makes you wonder what exactly you want to do or be. Do you even know yourself or not. Do you even know the people around you or not. It all keeps running in your head and you just can't stop thinking. I don't know if I am even true to myself anymore. I cant get it. Like I don't know what I do or why I do it. I just do it without thinking about the cons. Also its like I feel I don't care about anyone anymore. Which is totally not me I think. But I dont even know who I am exactly. So maybe this is the real me. The selfish one. I used to love to stay around people always. Have a big group of friends, always share stuff and now I just push people away. I don't care  about them or thier feelings anymore. I just push them away. And I don't know why so I dont know how to sort it. I have started feeling more emptier maybe. I fill that by doing stupid things like smoke. But even that doesn't really help. Maybe am not as complicated as I am making it seem by just overthinking. I dont even know why the hell am I talking/writing to myself. Complicating shit just like that. Maybe am just an attention seeker. I dont even know my self. Wtf!

It hurts to know...

It hurts to know that the person who matters the most to you,
You mean nothing to that person.
It hurts to know that the person you thought understands the most to you.
Is horrible at it in your worst times.
It hurts to know when the people you love the most,
Actually just pretend so.
It hurts to know that when you trust a person the most,
That person doesnt trust you as much as you do.
It hurts to know that you ain't really happy inside
When everybody thinks you got a perfect life.
It hurts to hear that "Oh! You got so many people."
When actually numbers don't really matter.
It hurts to know that people think of you so low
Even though they dont know a thing about you
Even thought you don't give a fuck about thier thought
But it still hurts.
It hurts to know that the person you were, the strong one
Is now nowhere to be found inside you.
It hurts to know that you lost a part of yourself.
In whatever the fuck you were doing.
It hurts to know that you got weaker
Day by day
And those rare tears that made you feel strong
Are now just a daily thing that gets you vulnerable.
It hurts to know...

Kyuki tu khas h

Tu vo h jo waqt ke
Mutabik chalta h
Tu vo h jo hmesha
Apne husulo pr chlta h

Tu vo h jo boht hi
Dil ka accha h
Tu vo h jo muje har
Trike se janta h

Tu banda boht sai h
Par hmari kahani kuch alg si h
Aur ye kahani me chahti hu
Hmesha esi hi rhe

Log chahte h ki
Kahani adhuri na rhe
Me chahti hu ke hmari kahani
Hmesha adhuri rhe

Ye adhurapan kuch khas h
Tere lafz boht khas h
Kyuki tu boht khas h

Salute to the brave hearts- Soldiers

This one is for the brave hearts. Who is the bravest? A boxer who goes to fight even when he knows he is gonna get injured! A brother sacrificing all his dreams for siblings. A mother who sacrifices all of herself for her kids! A father who sacrifics all the joy to bring joy in his family! No, they are brave but not the bravest. The bravest hearts are our soldiers. The men/women who  give up thier life for thier countries. The people who give up thier family joy & time for our country. They who don't care about thier lives. I salute them. I salute thier bravery and sacrifices.

Right now I'm really sad by the terror attack in J&K. Salute to them who fought there. Salute to those who are still on the border line alert. Salute to thier mothers who send them in the army. I hope thier souls rest in peace. I hope thier fams have strength to bear thier losses. I hope all the injured soldiers recover fast.


If you terrorist think that India is gonna stay quite. Yes maybe until some point of time. But we won't keep shut and let our soldiers die.

#salutetotheindianarmy #respect #bravesouls #bravehearts #rip #terrorattack #pulwama

My bitch

Bitch you've been there,
Right beside me,
Whenever I need you.

Bitch you've been there,
Right beside me,
When I need some sense.

Bitch you've been there,
Right beside me,
When I wanted someone to hold me back.

Bitch you've been there,
Right beside me,
When I couldn't trust myself.

Bitch, now it's time for me,
To be right beside you,
To help you be who you are,
To be your back,
And to make you belive in yourself.

I want you to know,
I will always be there,
Standing besides you,
In right and also in wrong.

I want you to know,
I will always be there,
Standing besides you,
In your happiness and sorrow.

I want you to know,
I will always be there,
Standing beside you,
Until you start believing in yourself.

I already know,
That you know,
I will be there,
But I just want to reassure you.

Ps: You know what you're doin' so don't worry girl I will always be there cause you are my first and my last preference no matter what. I love you bitch. And you're only mine. ❤

Waqt ka intazar

Kuch baate kahi nai jaati
Kuch baate log kehna nai chahte
Na jaane kyu uski vo baate jaan lene ki boht iccha hoti hai
Par usse hamesha waqt ka intazar rehta hai
Kyuki vo waqt se pehle hi lad chuka hai
Ab usse har waqt sirf sahi waqt ka intazar rehta hai
Pta nai kab aayga vo waqt
Uska vo sahi waqt
Jab muje vo baat kahega
Ab muje bhi ussi waqt ka intazar rahega...

Wanna go back

Being with you, is something that I really need. The day when I saw you for the first time. Your smile lightning up my mind. You staring right into my eyes with a smirk on your face. The next day we started chatting and soon we were ready to meet. The next time I met you I got goosebumps. There was an adrenaline rush in my mind. Looking at you made me feel blithe. I ran away to my classes and sent you texts about that endure. The next time our conversations got better. You surely liked me, that's what you uttered. I never wanted to get into a relationship. But you, I don't know what kind of energy do you have. Which pulled me towards you. And then, I didn't want to go away. I didn't want to let you go. I didn't want to lose you. I didn't want to go anywhere else. I loved you. I loved you like never before. I loved you as if there was no tomorrow. You gave me warmth. Warmth of your love.  I never thought it was less for me. I was mad about you. And suddenly things changed. Your demeanour changed. You started ignoring me. After all the memories we built, the talks we had, the smiles we exchanged, those sweet touches and the overwhelming kisses. The warmth of your arms made me feel as if I was at the safest place. Never wanting to let you go. You finally told me that you wanted to go away, you wanted to leave me and I was helpless. I couldn't do or think about anything. The only thing running in my mind was the kind of relationship we had. That little period of time I didn't wanted to pass. I thought whether you ever loved me. You went away leaving me alone in darkness. Somewhere, where I didn't wanted to be. I wish I could hold back the time or could rewind my life. I wanna go back. I wanna be back with you and only you. Fuck time!